Love and Money: How Your Past Can Haunt Your Future

We all have a past. None of us sprung up from the ground and just showed up as adults. This is especially true when it comes to money. Whether we always had money and never worried about it or never had money and always worried about it, how we watched our parents deal with money has left an indelible mark on our lives. They are evidenced in our beliefs about money and that affects our relationship with our mate for good and bad.

  1. Who was my biggest influence? You may be surprised by this answer. You biggest influence may not even have been in your house. Could it have been the absent parent? The one that was blamed because if they had been there things would not have been better? Did you learn that you can never trust anyone else? Or did you learn that you have to make sure to make the right choice so that they won’t leave? Think about your money beliefs for a moment and ask yourself where did you learn that from and how is it affecting you now.
  2. What did you first realize that money was important? Close your eyes and try to remember it as vividly as possible. How old were you? Who was there? What was happening? Why was this so important that it was your first memory? Get as detailed as possible. What were the sights? Sounds? Feelings? The last thing is what did this first event teach you?
  3. Did you think you were rich or poor? What about your friends? Other members of your family? This question will look at your relationships and how they may have formed some of your beliefs.
  4. What were your thoughts of money growing up? What did you dream your life would be like as an adult? Was it because of the money you had or because of the money you didn’t have? What relationship did money play in your immediate family? Was there ever a time when you dint have enough and what happened then?
  5. Did anyone ever teach you about how to handle money? If they did what was the lesson? If they didn’t then where did you learn your beliefs about money? What roles did you learn that men and women should play in a relationship in regards to money?

Now you have answered the questions, so what next? Well this is really about self discovery. What did the answers reveal about how you handle money today? Now that you have the answers look at your beliefs. If they are helping you grown and achieve more love then keep them. If they are limiting you and pushing people away then you need to discard them.

Well how do you do that? You simply replace those old beliefs with new ones. Make sure you tell yourself everyday the opposite of what your limiting beliefs are. Let me give you an example. Maybe you don’t believe you will ever be rich nor have money. If that is your belief you have probably done things or made decisions in your life to make that come true. Replace that with, “I deserve to be rich and have the best things in life.” Now just saying it won’t make it happen, but at least it will help you get the right mindset. You have to tell yourself this everyday because it will take some time to reprogram your mind.

We all have a past. No one show up as an adult out of thin air. The good news is that now for the first time in your life you may be aware of where you beliefs come from and what you can do to over come them. The saying is true, “Whether you believe you can or believe you can’t, you are right.” Replace those limiting beliefs with new beliefs and get the wealth you deserve and bring that person to your relationship.

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